IV Trimester. What Happens With a Woman After Giving Birth.
Why nobody talks about what happens with a woman after giving birth ?
You’re pregnant ! First appointment with a doctor, midwife and you are informed about what is happening in your body, with the baby, what to expect and how to prepare for delivery. I think that every woman, especially in her first pregnancy, imagines giving birth based on what she saw in the movies, stories from family and friends, but none of us mothers knew exactly what to expect. Even if we read all possible educational books about how a child is born probably none of us is able to fully prepare for it. There is a lot of information on this subject. We read about the development of the child and about changes that occur in our body however, we do not talk enough about the so-called 4th trimester or postpartum time, for which I personally was not ready with the first child.
Feel free to check my other blog post about FERTILITY.
My pregnancy was very pleasant, without complications for me and the baby. I didn’t feel too much discomfort being pregnant both during day and at night. Being active until the delivery and I was sure that I would spend the time with the baby just as easily and pleasantly. My beginnings in breastfeeding: but in this text I would like to focus on how important postpartum time is. As we do not hear much about it and we focus only on pregnancy or we spend too little time preparing for what’s after.
The time of delivery comes. For some it is a few hours, for others few days. In my case, it was not a very long delivery, considering that it was my first child, that I gave birth at home, without anesthesia, that I am quite a small woman and that my size could be problematic to natural delivery.
After the birth of my son I felt very good. I did not tear so there was no need for stitches. I could walk, sit, even run :-), despite everything I was going through a difficult period.
From the very beginning I was in love with my baby.
I did not undergo postpartum depression. I had amazing help from my family which I would not be able to cope without. My son’s weight 2640g, a tiny boy like his mom :-). According to the pediatrician’s recommendations, he needed to sleep in silence, dim and a very warm room. I do not know whether these recommendations did “spoil” him 😉 because at a later time literally everything was waking him up. I hardly slept during the first 3 days. Tired, exhausted after 10 hours of delivery I could not rest. I didn’t want to sleep to make sure he was alright even though there was no indication that something was wrong with him 😉
From changing the diaper at the right time to writing on a sheet of paper how many times I breastfed, how many nappies I changed or how many times the baby gave away the mash.
I couldn’t leave him alone.
Looking at him, counting wrinkles, eyelashes, looking at his big hands, the shape of his nose, eyes, learning his body from day to day by heart. Suddenly I became a mother, that such a large responsibility fell on me, such a huge and unimaginable need to care for another person. The first three days were complete ecstasy, daydream in complete misunderstanding and at the same time with such great calmness inside.
The first week passed slowly with many problems, especially with breastfeeding.
Within 7 days I developed very intense breast inflammation. Despite this I didn’t give up feeding. I didn’t want to take an antibiotic so I was hoping that everything would stabilize by itself. A woman who decides to breastfeed very often struggles with painful wounded nipples, with breast pain which she probably did not expect. In addition, as always after delivery, unpleasant uterine contractions appear and last all day reminding mild birth pain. Similarly, with the contractions themselves during childbirth, childbirth in the last phase, perhaps episiotomy or later suturing.
All that affects our well-being after delivery.
Tiredness and sleepless nights, not to forget there is a child to care for. Feeding, changing, bouncing, dressing up, etc. Perhaps taking care of older siblings who need as much attention and dedication as newborns. There are many schools and it is unknown whom to listen and whom not. Many questions and lots of different answers. Changes in the body, self-acceptance and lots of thoughts per minute. That’s all I suspect each of us went through and studied only on her own skin. In pregnancy, especially the first, we were alone, independent and had time for everything. Now, with this gentle little human that needs us 24/7, it is very difficult to find time and strength to listen to your own needs because the child’s needs are much ahead.
Immediately after delivery my midwife asked me: Wasn’t so bad, huh ? And I thought: It was awful 😉 A day later it was a little better, and 3 days after giving birth I said OK, I would be able to go through it again. And I’m writing this just in the middle of the second pregnancy. Ready, waiting impatiently to go through it all again 🙂 I share with you my insights in 5 points.
1. A Mother becomes your Mother
I would like to quote the words of Dr. Preeti Agrawal “In the Hindu tradition, mother through the first four weeks are in the care of a loved one-mother, sister, aunt or mother-in-law. During this time, she can only take care of her newborn child and herself. Mothers-helpers cook appropriate meals to strengthen the body after childbirth, help to care for the baby. Mom can then take care of herself, relax, take herbal baths, massages and rest. After four weeks, a special ceremony takes place and the new mother returns to her duties. In societies where similar traditions and rituals apply, the phenomenon of postpartum depression occurs sporadically. Also, health problems and allergies in newborns and children are practically unknown, and mothers are breastfeeding longer. “
For me the help of my mother and sisters was necessary and irreplaceable.
I sincerely recommend such help to every woman in childbirth. It does not necessarily have to be the help of your mother but close to you woman, sister, friend or even a neighbor so that you can be free taking care of yourself and the child. Do not have to wash, clean, cook or work as little as possible with older children.
2. Get lactation help
Breastfeeding is more difficult than it seems. For many, giving a bottle is easier and more convenient than learning how to breastfeed. I noticed when breastfeeding my son for almost 3 years that most women choose a bottle because of the convenience or lack of support and incorrect information as to what proper breastfeeding should look like. I encourage you to consult with a lactation consultant or talk to women who have managed to feed a baby for more than a year. This help is very important especially for the first child. Most women who weaned after a few weeks, months, lost milk due to many factors that could simply be overlooked and avoided.
About 5 weeks after giving birth, I was convinced that I had completely mastered breastfeeding.
After consulting and following some tips, Reef began to sleep better. He was diagnosed with re-flux so I knew how to help him. Reef “poured” milk from the first days of life but we got used to it. I just fed him often and changed clothes. After consultation, I was made aware that Reef probably already has an erosion from re-flux in the esophagus and that is why he often reaches for the breast that I intuitively gave him. We introduced homeopathy and within a few days the child calmed down. All drugs were natural and I noticed significant improvement after a few days. I was able to put him off for longer than literally a few minutes, which was also very tedious before. After breast inflammation, I did nothing to strengthen myself, improve my breast condition. Breastfeeding is possible for most women, we only need proper support and some lead on this path. A lactation advisor in Israel has helped me in an incredible way so I highly recommend it.
What other unpleasant things can happen to a Woman After Giving Birth. ?
3. Bleeding, Hemorrhoids, Urinary incontinence.
Some things we cannot bypass. At the same time, I would like to share my experiences. My puerperium was great in this aspect. The bleeding stopped quite quickly, practically within a few days. Both hemorrhoids and urinary incontinence did not occur even after delivery.
My pregnancy was very active and healthy.
I gained 13 kg, of which I lost 10 kg on the day of delivery. My entire pregnancy was vegan, 80% raw fruits and vegetables. I was in very good physical shape and active throughout my pregnancy. On the day of delivery I walked 8km on a treadmill at the gym and I am convinced that the physical condition in which I found myself right after delivery was 90% thanks to my lifestyle and diet. The whole period of pregnancy and puerperium was not accompanied by any pain that would not be directly related to breastfeeding or contraction of the uterus. I think this is amazing and I am convinced that the diet had a huge impact on it.
4. Living with a partner
Pregnancy is quite fruitful for a relationship. Many pregnancy brings and prepares to live as a family, and so it was also in our case. However, the delivery time is extremely difficult for both parents. In our case, the situation was difficult because my husband was traveling and it was difficult for us to build a routine every few weeks. Many times our opinions differed in the matter of caring for our son, but I noticed that the more my husband gets involved in his duties with the child, the easier it will be for us to communicate, agree, and get emotional support. It will be easier for us to make changes if we are involved in everything together.
It is often the case that the father returns to work a few days after delivery, and often the mother looks after the house. I do not mean engage husband to watch the baby all night and then send him to work for 8 hours 😉 I mean talking about your needs but also listening to his needs.
Determine how the husband/partner is able to help.
e.g. Bathing a child, evening fun, taking over the child early in the morning before work, cooking dinner, walking, etc. Any help is needed especially talking about our well-being. Dating is important. Even those 10 minutes at home after the child falls asleep. The conversation and those few minutes together is the moment I have been waiting for all day and I can see how much good it brought and brings to our relationship with the 3-year-old active boy- 3 years later🙂
5. Return to work
Give yourself time. In my case, everything happened too quickly. Five weeks after delivery, I returned to the stage with my first concerts abroad. A month after delivery I was already on a plane to Israel, which was an incredible burden and I definitely do not recommend going back to work a month after delivery, regardless of the type of work. We did menage but Reef did not make it easy on us. 😉
Give yourself time. For a reason you need several weeks for the body to fully recover. Everyone’s situation is different. In some, the baby sleeps for several hours for the first few months and wakes up only for feeding, in my case it was quite the opposite. Reef spent most of the day in my arms and slept in his bed for several minutes 😉 I hope you will have the first version.
Good luck !
If the time of your 4th Trimester comes, remember to ask for help! The woman is very strong, but her energy reserves will sooner or later run out. Talk with your partner and give yourself time to return everything to normal.
If you are thinking of trying a plant based diet but you don’t know where to start lets connect ! Let’s do it together.
Thank you
Betty